Mga Patawa sa Bundok


Beer Label Warnings Saturday, December 16, 2000 9:43 am


Due to increasing product liability litigation, American beer brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

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